Sunday, July 10, 2011

Things I never thought I would say...

As a parent, there are things that come out of your mouth that, in the years before children, you never thought you would say. Today(since my camera battery is recharging and I haven't uploaded pics from our vacation yet!) I will share with you some of the things that I never thought I would say, that is until my oldest started talking, and it's been down hill since then. So here is Out of the mouths of moms : BEACH EDITION
 * On a side note, most of things I never thought I would say refer to my son, aka Dr. Destructo, named appropriately by my dad.  Because, well, he's a boy and boys will be boys. Carry On.

 Me: Sweet pea, do you see your brother, I don't hear him.
Sweet Pea: I'll go look.
waiting, waiting,waiting
Me: Do you see him?
Sweet Pea: laughing hysterically
Me: walking into the kitchen of the condo, Boy, Why are you naked, eating M&M's, with the fridge open?Close the door, take your M&M's, and go find your underwear, for crying out loud!

Dr. Destructo: Oh hey Mommy!
Me: Hey.
Dr. D: Whatch ya doin? (yes, it's from Phineas and Ferb, yes he thinks Perry the Platypus is his pet, yes he pretends to carry it around and yes we also have to pretend to take care of Perry.)
Me: Oh nothing. What are y...
Dr. D: Oh hey, is this your dwink?
Me: Yes, it...
Dr. D: Tan I have a dwink.
Me: One drin...
Dr. D: Otay.
Me: Wait!!! What are you doing? Don't pour that root beer in your underwear! Great! Micah! your son just poured root beer into his underwear!

Me: Go get ready for bed, your sleeping upstairs tonight.
The girls: But there is no TV upstairs.
Me: I know that. Go get some clothes.
The girls: But, But, But...
Me: You heard me.
The girls: We can't sleep without a TV!! 
note: this is said in the whiniest voice you have ever heard. ADD a few feet stomping and arms crossed.
Me: You don't have to have a TV to go to sleep with. I didn't have a TV in my room until I was 16. Now, go to bed so I can watch Teen Mom. I don't have that channel at home and it's not on the TV in the bedroom and I would like to watch something other than local news when I go to bed. Thankyouverymuch.

Me: For crying out loud, why are you whining Sweetie Pie? And why are you screaming Dr. D?
Sweetie Pie: Brother has his foot in my ear. said in the whiniest voice you have ever heard.
Me: Oh come on! Get your foot out of her ear! Sweetie, that is no reason the whine. His foot is not hurting your ear!
Me: Yay!! You made bubbles!!

Me: We do not poop in our pants, we poop on the potty. Daddy poops in the potty you should too, after all you both have a  "tail" the least you could do is poop in the potty.

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Friday, July 1, 2011

Dear Family and Friends,

            I am writing you to tell you I am leaving. I am leaving the world of everyday laundry, spilled apple juice, squished up fruit snacks stuck to the bottom of my feet, any child at any given moment running through the house nude, cooking, cleaning, and watching endless hours of Pinky Dinky Doo, Phineas and Ferb, and Veggie Tales. I am trading it all in for this little stretch of paradise:

Do you see how the water sparkles like diamonds? Aahhh. I think my mind is already there. I can feel the sun on my face and my toes in the water. In less than 24 hours I will be well on my way to Florida's "forgotten beach" and enjoying time spent with my wonderful husband and babies. Sure, I'll still have to do a little laundry, clean up juice and squished up fruit snacks. I'll probably even have to listen to hours of completely ridiculous cartoons while grilling burgers and hot dogs. But not even a children running around naked is so bad when you're at the beach. So goodbye for now, I'm leaving. But don't worry, I'll return, (probably too soon in my mind) but a lot more refreshed and with a good tan. :)

P.S. Happy 4th of July! Thank God for a country where we are free. :)

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